Why I changed my Last name- The path to reclaim my identity.

I chose to do something 4 years ago, something considered of as unthinkable & not highly acceptable by the paternalistic society. At least not back then. I changed my last name from my Father’s last name to my Mother’s name. 
A lot of my friends initially were perplexed, my family didn’t take it too well. The Indian judicial system has most definitely been unable to digest this. I still struggle with officials in the process of legally changing my name. 
A lot of questions were raised; Why are you doing this? Why is it important? What is emboldening you to challenge traditions like this? How will it help? How will your future in-laws react? And the worst of all- How will people know what caste you belong to if you don’t use the family last name?

Well, here are all my answers to the barrage of questions & misinterpretation. 
All these years, the one person who has been there by my side is my Mother. She went through a crazy 9 month experience then a painful delivery and then every single day she would wake up early to cook for me, ensure everything I needed was there by my side at the right time, stayed up late nights with me when I was sick, stood by me during bad times, guided me along the right path & God knows how many other sacrifices she has quietly endured for us. She has been my strength, my guiding light& my best friend throughout this beautiful journey. I don’t know how I would have survived if it was not for her sheer existence. Let’s not forget, she did all of this while working for at least 12 hours a day. It is only now when our society has begun to understand the near unbelievable difficulties a working mother has to face at different moments in her life.

Well, how did society return & reward her for everything she did?
The day she was born she was given a name and a last name. The last name belonged to her father. Throughout her life she was Rupani Ji’s elder daughter. Later in her professional life she became Miss Rupani and once she got married she became Mrs Singh, Mr Singh’s wife.

The one thing that any individual has the right to is their own identity, yet our society at times forgets we aren’t too good at identifying people the right way. On many occasions not even our own mothers.

I changed my last name to my Mother’s name because for once I want to proudly be known as her daughter. She has put in way more effort than the family, no doubt a natural phenomenon with most mothers. 
She deserves way more recognition than this. She is the reason behind my existence and all my achievements.  All her life she has faced an identity crisis and you know what the most beautiful aspect of her is?  That she has never even uttered a word to complain about not having an identity which she could call just hers, without her relation to anybody having to make a difference, an identity unrelated to anyone else.
Thankfully these days there are TV Shows being made on this concept, with several social campaigns having also begun. I am really happy about how the society is changing gradually. 

Now, to the other reason why I did this.
I don’t want to be defined by my caste nor which house was I born in. I don’t want to be known as a Punjabi or a Rajput or by any nomenclature of a caste or a community. I don’t want to be defined by the boundaries of a religion. The only religion I want to be a part of is Humanity. I am a human not a Sikh, a Muslim or a Christian. I AM A HUMAN!

This is my humble tribute to all the mothers out there who have sacrificed every single day without any complaints and will continue to do so. This is my tiny bit of contribution, I don’t know if I will ever be able to return as much love as you have provided me with, but I am trying every day and I will continue to do so every single day of my life. This was never about me not valuing my family’s last name, I do value & respect it though I will always feel that my mother deserves way more recognition than anyone else.

Also, my dear future in-laws, I know I will be responsible for taking the family forward but I would want to keep my name and not lose the identity I have created for myself all these years. I hope you’ll support me with this decision.
Signing off- Mrs Nanda’s daughter!